The day has come

I knew the day would eventually be here, but it still kinda sucks. Guy, Dror, Alma, and Leo are leaving this week. I mean, seriously, who wouldn't miss this...

Wow... it's still incredible that they have been here since February. When they arrived, we all assumed they would be here this long, but back then, May seemed so far away. Time is a funny thing.

One year ago in late March, Guy, Dror, Jeremy, and I met for the first time at Olive Garden. Not even one year later, Guy and Dror became parents. To complete the circle, we decided we had to end their stay with a date at Olive Garden.

Then

Now

So until we meet again... I'll think of you every single day and cherish the memories we made.

6 weeks later

It's been 6 weeks since Alma and Leo entered this world. I can't tell you how amazing these two little babies are. They were champs at this "living outside of the uterus" thing. Born at just 31 weeks and 4 days, they reached NICU milestones quick and easily. The longest milestone to reach was feeding from a bottle. This is because most babies don't have the capability of sucking, swallowing, and breathing all at once until about 34/35/36 weeks. At just under 36 weeks, Alma decided she was done with her feeding tube and pulled it out on her own. She never looked back. Soon Leo had his removed too.

On April 14, Alma and Leo were discharged from the NICU! Just one day short of their 5 week birthday. They are now with their daddies 24/7, right where they belong. Guy and Dror are proud daddies! I could watch them talk to and love on those babies all day long.

Last Friday was the court hearing to take care of the legal stuff. All went smoothly as we knew it would. After the hearing we went to lunch to celebrate. It was a great day.

We are getting closer and closer to parting ways. There is no way this day won't be bittersweet. Guy and Dror have been here since February 21. It feels like they should permanent residents now,  but I know they are anxious to get home and begin their new routine. What a journey this has been! It's crazy to think that our original delivery date was April 24 - today.

There are events in our lives that make us wonder why things happen the way they do. Why were Alma and Leo born so early? Guy and Dror have been so amazing and strong throughout the highs and lows. I realize not all IPs would have handled the stress as well as they did. I appreciate them so much for their support and love. Of course, they were concerned by the early arrival of their precious bundles, but on the other hand, as Guy once said, "we feel lucky to have two extra months with our babies."

As for me, I am doing well. I feel almost 100% back to normal, with minor incision pain here and there. My blood pressure is usually within my normal range, but sometimes pops up to a higher reading - not high enough to be concerned though. I pumped milk for the babies, but as they are preparing to leave soon, they slowly shifted to formula. I'm happy I was able to provide them breast milk while they were in the NICU. Since I could no longer care for them inside my body, at least the milk offered some healthy benefits. I've decided to continue pumping and donating it. Pumping every 2-3 hours can be a nuisance, but this is such a good cause I can't pass up the opportunity to continue helping.

This weekend we are doing a small photo shoot. It should be fun! I'll see about sharing a few here on my blog ;)

Alma and Leo

This pregnancy took a surprising twist 1 month ago. The road was full of speed bumps, questions, and decision making. On March 10 we made the decision to move forward with delivery. It was scheduled for 8:00am the following day.


At 6:45am on delivery day, I was escorted to labor and delivery. Guy and Dror by my side. After being in the hospital for 3 weeks, we were a popular trio. While the clock ticked its way to 8:00am, we had a lot of doctors and nurses coming in to greet us.

I was prepped for the OR and wheeled off. I have never had a csection, and surprisingly I wasn't all that nervous. I was in very good hands. The spinal made my blood pressure all wonky which made me feel nauseous. The anesthesiologist did an amazing job getting things under control though. The guys were brought back just as the first cut was made. I have no idea what time it was, I'm guessing it was somewhere around 8:50am. After a few intense minutes, Leo was born at 8:55am and Alma followed just 2 minutes later. The best part... they both came out crying right away. What a beautiful sound!! I think we all breathed a sigh of relief. Leo was taken immediately to the neonatal room just off of the OR and Alma, after a very quick viewing by us, followed her brother. Leo weighed 3.8 lbs and Alma was 5.8 lbs.

We were extremely excited to meet these babies, but we had no idea how they would accept being outside of the womb at just 31 weeks and 4 days. Because of their gestational age we knew without a doubt they would be headed to the NICU. I am happy to report that both Alma and Leo are superbabies. They are doing amazing. I'll write another post about their progress.

As I was getting stitched up, the new dads went off to meet their babies. I wasn't able to witness the moment they first set eyes on Alma and Leo. They stopped back to see me a few times, and gave me updates. The updates I was getting was all positive. I was the first to hear the names chosen for the babies. To see how proud Guy and Dror were of their new daddy status was incredible. These moments are truly indescribable to a surrogate.

We seriously had the best team of MFM doctors. We can not thank them enough for the care and kindness they gave us. A few attended the birth even though it wasn't necessary for them to be there, and they stopped by my postpartum room occasionally just ask how I was doing.

I was moved to a recovery room at some point that morning. This is where I would spend the next 24 hours hooked up to magnesium. I told you about the last time I had magnesium. This stuff is mean and nasty! It's used to reduce the risk of stokes and seizures in women with pre-eclampsia. I'm not being dramatic in saying that I threw up in front of every nurse, doctor and visitor (except one) that entered my room that day. Some of the lucky ones actually witnessed more than one throw up party. It would happen so suddenly I barely had time to react. Thank goodness I received a heavy duty painkiller prior to the csection. I can't imagine how painful that would have been. Another thing was I could not keep my eyes open. Not so much because I was tired, but because they were super sensitive to light, and my lids felt like they weighed about a million pounds. To my visitors that day... I'm sorry. Apparently, I was living on a completely different planet :)

Shortly after getting settled into my recovery room, I had a short visit from the babies before they were transported to the NICU. Unfortunately the visit was cut very short because of how the magnesium was affecting me, but from what I could see they looked perfect.

Healing from a csection is much different then healing from a vaginal delivery. I have never felt so much pain. The first few days were crazy painful even with medication. The best way to describe the incision is a feeling of deep burning from within the belly. It's the nerves fusing back together and it's completely normal. At first I thought I had ripped open part of the incision. Some people elect to have csections. I call these people... insane. Why would anyone put themselves through this pain if it's not necessary.

The thing about pre-eclampsia is that the only cure is delivery. Some women, like myself, are not cured right away. My blood pressure still played games with me. At 2:30am the day I was set to be discharged I was wheeled back to l&d because I needed IV meds to lower my bp. I felt so discouraged and had a mini meltdown. After almost one month in the hospital I was more than ready to go home. I knew this stunt would cause me to stay longer. After getting to l&d and getting hooked up to the IV, it took almost 3 hours to get my bp under control. I stayed in l&d until late afternoon before they allowed me to return to my postpartum room. Finally two days after my initial discharge date I was able to go home.

It's been 2 1/2 weeks since Alma and Leo were born. Life is slowly returning to normal for me. My incision can still be unpleasant at times, I'm still on meds for my bp issues, my body is still adjusting to life after surgery, and I'm doing my best at keeping up with producing breastmilk for the babies.

At the wishes of Guy and Dror, I won't be posting any pictures of Alma and Leo today. Once they are released from the NICU, I hope to post a picture or two. As you can imagine, they are little sweethearts and if given the opportunity, you could totally stare at them for hours.

Welcome to our lives, Alma and Leo!

Rolling into week 26

We are rocking our way into week 26. These little munchkins are growing like crazy and trying to outdo each other with their kicks and bootie slams (bootie slams = pressing their butts hard into my ribs, sides, organs, etc). They have been busy movin' and groovin'. At the last appointment, the ultrasound showed we definitely have a baby A and baby B. If you remember, our appointment in December showed them competing for the "A" spot. Baby boy was hanging upside down and in first out position while baby girl was chilling head-up in my ribs. I know this has changed again because I can feel a head or a bum where I wasn't feeling it before.

The next appointment is Feb 10. There will be a growth ultrasound, which is always exciting! It's fun to see how much they've grown. I will also have the dreaded glucose test. Fingers crossed I avoid having to do the 3 hour test. I'm not too hopeful though. I've had to take it with almost every pregnancy. The big news... we will schedule an induction date at this appointment too! Doesn't that seem crazy!?! I know the induction date already but I'm not sharing right now because I am not sure if the guys are telling everyone yet.

So how am I feeling? Well, I'm feeling very large! Imagine a beach ball with a head, arms and legs. Yep, that's me. I am a short person with a short torso. Add two babies to that and you get a very round figure.

AND same outfit 25 weeks...

A few weeks before Christmas I started getting a lot of questions about when "my" baby is due: "Must be any day now" "Is your baby coming before or after Christmas". I tell them my due date is May 9 and quickly add "but it's twins so they'll be born before then". The reaction is always the same... silence and a shocked expression. After I let it soak in they usually ask if this is my first pregnancy. I say "no, I have 4 kids". Silence and shocked expression return. 99% of the time I tell them I am a surrogate and carrying these twins for someone else. You probably guessed the reaction is silence and shock. I love it. I always leave these conversations with a smile on a my face.

I'm matched!

Late last year I decided to kick start the process of getting matched for my second journey. The agency I work with was quick to find a match they thought would be great for me. Soon after sending in my updated information, my family and I had some personal stuff come up. Putting the journey on hold bummed me. I really thought I was ready and these IPs (intended parents) did sound like a great match for me.

As time went by, our personal stuff was mending, but I found myself with a new(ish) dilemma. You can read about it here.

Today I'm very happy to say... I am ready.

Shortly after my last post and taking time to really sort through my thoughts, I received news from IARC. The news was regarding the IPs I would have potentially been matched with late last year. They were unmatched! I'm a person who believes in signs and "everything happens for a reason". For me to be ready and for them to be in need screamed positive vibes.

On a Monday, I spoke to IARC about Dror and Guy's visit to Minnesota, had a phone conversation with them the following day and the day after that Jeremy and I had dinner with them. On top of that, we had Elliott's 3rd birthday and we closed on our new house. It was a whirlwind of an awesome week.


I am bubbling with excitement! Being with them was completely comfortable. We spent 2 1/2 hours together and the time went by much too fast. They are going to make great dads and I can not wait to help make that happen for them.

Jeremy, Me, Guy & Dror

How thoughtful... Dror and Guy brought along a birthday gift for Elliott :)

Please stick around. I feel another great journey is about to be had!

Peek-a-boo!

I see two of the most babylicious faces! In less than 2 months, I will be snuggling these two lovebugs in person **and the crowd goes wild**.

In just a few short days, Ely and Ella will be 8 months old.

Ella

Ely

Don't they just put a smile on your face?!?

Friday the 13th... 6 months ago

In the wee hours of a snowy morning on January 13, two bundles of incredible joy were placed into the arms of their daddies. Read about their arrival here.

I can't express to you how wonderful, how blessed it feels to have helped create this family. In life, we have dreams of doing big things, life changing things...  this was mine and it feels great!

You know that overwhelming feeling of love your heart feels when you see someone you love and adore? I get that when I see these babies! In just a few months, I will be lucky enough to kiss and snuggle these two. They'll be just about 10 months old... hmmm... they may be too busy and "on the go" to have time for snuggles. Snuggles or not it will be great to see them (and Roy and Avner) again.

HAPPY 6 MONTHS ELLA AND ELY!!

YOU BOTH ARE SO LOVED!!

 

Goodness! Those faces are precious!

Gay penguins?

Recently there was some controversy in one of our local elementary schools about the book "And Tango makes three"*. A child, not sure of the exact age but obviously of elementary age, checked out this book from the school's library. The parents were appalled that the school would even carry a book like this and confronted the school board about it. The superintendent and few school board members decided to remove the book from the school library. Soon after, the book was placed back on the shelf at the school. The reason being that the superintendent and the 2 school board members did not take proper action in regards to their decision to remove the book. The entire school board is entitled to vote on this - a couple boneheads can't just make this decision and call it good.

It's fairly obvious that in my duration here on earth that we will always being battling same sex relationships. I am not much a fan of debates. In fact they make me very uncomfortable. But this crap just irritates me.

What I want to say to these parents. "You don't like the book, fine.  Don't read it! Don't let your kids read it! But you do not have the right to banish the book therefore not allowing kids/families that stand behind same sex relationships a chance to read it. By taking the book off the shelves, do you feel you are doing your part to save the world from the evil of gayness? Go back to your cave."

A lot of people are against same sex marriages and let's not even mention the unfathomable thought of a same sex couple raising a child(ren) together (horror I tell you, just horror). Some of the most caring, good-hearted, funniest and smartest people I know are gay. Folks that can't see past the sexual preference status are missing out on knowing some truly amazing human beings. Yep, that's right...  gay peeps are human beings!

This post isn't to start any debates. It's just a way for me to express my thoughts on this disgusting topic. I should also say that I have never read this book, knew nothing about it until I heard it on the local news. I have every intention of buying this book and (wait for it..) READING it to my children. I never want my children to think ill of another human being because of their sexual preference.

I have a motto in my daycare: "if it doesn't effect you, move on". I wouldn't mind sharing my motto with these parents and many others. In no way does a person's sexual preference effect anyone else, so move on and find something else to be upset about. There is plenty of true evil in this world that we should be focusing on, whether a person is gay or straight is not one of them.

A Pinterest find...

Lastly, what I would really like to say to these parents is "screw you" but that would be sinking to their level and I am not about to do that. Instead I will pray for these kids to not follow in the judgmental footsteps of their parents.



*Starred Review. PreSchool-Grade 3-This tale based on a true story about a charming penguin family living in New York City's Central Park Zoo will capture the hearts of penguin lovers everywhere. Roy and Silo, two male penguins, are "a little bit different." They cuddle and share a nest like the other penguin couples, and when all the others start hatching eggs, they want to be parents, too. Determined and hopeful, they bring an egg-shaped rock back to their nest and proceed to start caring for it. They have little luck, until a watchful zookeeper decides they deserve a chance at having their own family and gives them an egg in need of nurturing. The dedicated and enthusiastic fathers do a great job of hatching their funny and adorable daughter, and the three can still be seen at the zoo today. Done in soft watercolors, the illustrations set the tone for this uplifting story, and readers will find it hard to resist the penguins' comical expressions. The well-designed pages perfectly marry words and pictures, allowing readers to savor each illustration. An author's note provides more information about Roy, Silo, Tango, and other chinstrap penguins. This joyful story about the meaning of family is a must for any library.-Julie Roach, Watertown Free Public Library, MA
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Melissa