May 24, 2011

Why (and how) I decided to become a surrogate

Even before I knew the correct word for it, I had a strong yearning of becoming a surrogate. As a teen, I remember wishing I could somehow help family members as their attempts of having children failed time after time.
During my teenage years, I decided I didn't want to have children of my own. It was after my daughter was born that I knew in my heart I was destined to be a mother. At the age of 21, I was no where near being ready to have a child. I was very young and had a lot of growing up to do, which I eventually did... whew! To this day, 13 1/2 years later, I can still remember setting my eyes on her for the first time. I gasped and cried at the sight of her... I had never in my life seen anything more beautiful than her. I loved her instantly!

With all that being said, I couldn't imagine my life without my children. It's a feeling I share with most parents. I am a lucky one, though. I am able to conceive and carry babies to term. I don't take this for granted. I will never know the pain of not being able to have my own children, I can imagine it but I can't actually know it.

I have met many women going through infertility issues but one is a very dear friend of mine. Kids are drawn to her, they absolutely adore her. I adore her, too. She endured many years of physical and emotional pain while trying to add to her family. I am sad to say that her attempts were unsuccessful. Understanding she had a longing for another child, I offered to carry a baby for her and her husband. She respectively declined my offer. I never asked why. My assumption is they were ready to begin healing their broken heart and move forward on the path chosen for them.

I hadn't met a surrogate or anyone that had had a baby via a surrogate. It was a whole new world and I pretty much felt alone. I felt like this may be a dream to big to accomplish. I didn't know where to start other then googling "surrogacy". I am naturally a trusting a person but I usually listen to my instincts very closely. During my previous search efforts, I came across different website but none that "spoke" to me.  I took a break from my surrogacy dream. In 2010, my husband and I had our last child. Soon after, surrogacy thoughts began floating through my head again. It's never something I have doubted, it's always felt so right and like something I was meant to do. Fall 2010, I began searching the web for information and stumbled upon a local reproduction center. I had a wonderful feeling from my first interaction with the program coordinator but I was still apprehensive. Thankfully, my best friend happens to be an attorney. She made some calls and found out that my instincts were spot on and this agency was very reputable.

So there it is, the how and why of my becoming a surrogate. Please feel free to follow me on this journey.

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