6 weeks later

It's been 6 weeks since Alma and Leo entered this world. I can't tell you how amazing these two little babies are. They were champs at this "living outside of the uterus" thing. Born at just 31 weeks and 4 days, they reached NICU milestones quick and easily. The longest milestone to reach was feeding from a bottle. This is because most babies don't have the capability of sucking, swallowing, and breathing all at once until about 34/35/36 weeks. At just under 36 weeks, Alma decided she was done with her feeding tube and pulled it out on her own. She never looked back. Soon Leo had his removed too.

On April 14, Alma and Leo were discharged from the NICU! Just one day short of their 5 week birthday. They are now with their daddies 24/7, right where they belong. Guy and Dror are proud daddies! I could watch them talk to and love on those babies all day long.

Last Friday was the court hearing to take care of the legal stuff. All went smoothly as we knew it would. After the hearing we went to lunch to celebrate. It was a great day.

We are getting closer and closer to parting ways. There is no way this day won't be bittersweet. Guy and Dror have been here since February 21. It feels like they should permanent residents now,  but I know they are anxious to get home and begin their new routine. What a journey this has been! It's crazy to think that our original delivery date was April 24 - today.

There are events in our lives that make us wonder why things happen the way they do. Why were Alma and Leo born so early? Guy and Dror have been so amazing and strong throughout the highs and lows. I realize not all IPs would have handled the stress as well as they did. I appreciate them so much for their support and love. Of course, they were concerned by the early arrival of their precious bundles, but on the other hand, as Guy once said, "we feel lucky to have two extra months with our babies."

As for me, I am doing well. I feel almost 100% back to normal, with minor incision pain here and there. My blood pressure is usually within my normal range, but sometimes pops up to a higher reading - not high enough to be concerned though. I pumped milk for the babies, but as they are preparing to leave soon, they slowly shifted to formula. I'm happy I was able to provide them breast milk while they were in the NICU. Since I could no longer care for them inside my body, at least the milk offered some healthy benefits. I've decided to continue pumping and donating it. Pumping every 2-3 hours can be a nuisance, but this is such a good cause I can't pass up the opportunity to continue helping.

This weekend we are doing a small photo shoot. It should be fun! I'll see about sharing a few here on my blog ;)

Alma and Leo

This pregnancy took a surprising twist 1 month ago. The road was full of speed bumps, questions, and decision making. On March 10 we made the decision to move forward with delivery. It was scheduled for 8:00am the following day.


At 6:45am on delivery day, I was escorted to labor and delivery. Guy and Dror by my side. After being in the hospital for 3 weeks, we were a popular trio. While the clock ticked its way to 8:00am, we had a lot of doctors and nurses coming in to greet us.

I was prepped for the OR and wheeled off. I have never had a csection, and surprisingly I wasn't all that nervous. I was in very good hands. The spinal made my blood pressure all wonky which made me feel nauseous. The anesthesiologist did an amazing job getting things under control though. The guys were brought back just as the first cut was made. I have no idea what time it was, I'm guessing it was somewhere around 8:50am. After a few intense minutes, Leo was born at 8:55am and Alma followed just 2 minutes later. The best part... they both came out crying right away. What a beautiful sound!! I think we all breathed a sigh of relief. Leo was taken immediately to the neonatal room just off of the OR and Alma, after a very quick viewing by us, followed her brother. Leo weighed 3.8 lbs and Alma was 5.8 lbs.

We were extremely excited to meet these babies, but we had no idea how they would accept being outside of the womb at just 31 weeks and 4 days. Because of their gestational age we knew without a doubt they would be headed to the NICU. I am happy to report that both Alma and Leo are superbabies. They are doing amazing. I'll write another post about their progress.

As I was getting stitched up, the new dads went off to meet their babies. I wasn't able to witness the moment they first set eyes on Alma and Leo. They stopped back to see me a few times, and gave me updates. The updates I was getting was all positive. I was the first to hear the names chosen for the babies. To see how proud Guy and Dror were of their new daddy status was incredible. These moments are truly indescribable to a surrogate.

We seriously had the best team of MFM doctors. We can not thank them enough for the care and kindness they gave us. A few attended the birth even though it wasn't necessary for them to be there, and they stopped by my postpartum room occasionally just ask how I was doing.

I was moved to a recovery room at some point that morning. This is where I would spend the next 24 hours hooked up to magnesium. I told you about the last time I had magnesium. This stuff is mean and nasty! It's used to reduce the risk of stokes and seizures in women with pre-eclampsia. I'm not being dramatic in saying that I threw up in front of every nurse, doctor and visitor (except one) that entered my room that day. Some of the lucky ones actually witnessed more than one throw up party. It would happen so suddenly I barely had time to react. Thank goodness I received a heavy duty painkiller prior to the csection. I can't imagine how painful that would have been. Another thing was I could not keep my eyes open. Not so much because I was tired, but because they were super sensitive to light, and my lids felt like they weighed about a million pounds. To my visitors that day... I'm sorry. Apparently, I was living on a completely different planet :)

Shortly after getting settled into my recovery room, I had a short visit from the babies before they were transported to the NICU. Unfortunately the visit was cut very short because of how the magnesium was affecting me, but from what I could see they looked perfect.

Healing from a csection is much different then healing from a vaginal delivery. I have never felt so much pain. The first few days were crazy painful even with medication. The best way to describe the incision is a feeling of deep burning from within the belly. It's the nerves fusing back together and it's completely normal. At first I thought I had ripped open part of the incision. Some people elect to have csections. I call these people... insane. Why would anyone put themselves through this pain if it's not necessary.

The thing about pre-eclampsia is that the only cure is delivery. Some women, like myself, are not cured right away. My blood pressure still played games with me. At 2:30am the day I was set to be discharged I was wheeled back to l&d because I needed IV meds to lower my bp. I felt so discouraged and had a mini meltdown. After almost one month in the hospital I was more than ready to go home. I knew this stunt would cause me to stay longer. After getting to l&d and getting hooked up to the IV, it took almost 3 hours to get my bp under control. I stayed in l&d until late afternoon before they allowed me to return to my postpartum room. Finally two days after my initial discharge date I was able to go home.

It's been 2 1/2 weeks since Alma and Leo were born. Life is slowly returning to normal for me. My incision can still be unpleasant at times, I'm still on meds for my bp issues, my body is still adjusting to life after surgery, and I'm doing my best at keeping up with producing breastmilk for the babies.

At the wishes of Guy and Dror, I won't be posting any pictures of Alma and Leo today. Once they are released from the NICU, I hope to post a picture or two. As you can imagine, they are little sweethearts and if given the opportunity, you could totally stare at them for hours.

Welcome to our lives, Alma and Leo!

Rolling into week 26

We are rocking our way into week 26. These little munchkins are growing like crazy and trying to outdo each other with their kicks and bootie slams (bootie slams = pressing their butts hard into my ribs, sides, organs, etc). They have been busy movin' and groovin'. At the last appointment, the ultrasound showed we definitely have a baby A and baby B. If you remember, our appointment in December showed them competing for the "A" spot. Baby boy was hanging upside down and in first out position while baby girl was chilling head-up in my ribs. I know this has changed again because I can feel a head or a bum where I wasn't feeling it before.

The next appointment is Feb 10. There will be a growth ultrasound, which is always exciting! It's fun to see how much they've grown. I will also have the dreaded glucose test. Fingers crossed I avoid having to do the 3 hour test. I'm not too hopeful though. I've had to take it with almost every pregnancy. The big news... we will schedule an induction date at this appointment too! Doesn't that seem crazy!?! I know the induction date already but I'm not sharing right now because I am not sure if the guys are telling everyone yet.

So how am I feeling? Well, I'm feeling very large! Imagine a beach ball with a head, arms and legs. Yep, that's me. I am a short person with a short torso. Add two babies to that and you get a very round figure.

AND same outfit 25 weeks...

A few weeks before Christmas I started getting a lot of questions about when "my" baby is due: "Must be any day now" "Is your baby coming before or after Christmas". I tell them my due date is May 9 and quickly add "but it's twins so they'll be born before then". The reaction is always the same... silence and a shocked expression. After I let it soak in they usually ask if this is my first pregnancy. I say "no, I have 4 kids". Silence and shocked expression return. 99% of the time I tell them I am a surrogate and carrying these twins for someone else. You probably guessed the reaction is silence and shock. I love it. I always leave these conversations with a smile on a my face.

I'm matched!

Late last year I decided to kick start the process of getting matched for my second journey. The agency I work with was quick to find a match they thought would be great for me. Soon after sending in my updated information, my family and I had some personal stuff come up. Putting the journey on hold bummed me. I really thought I was ready and these IPs (intended parents) did sound like a great match for me.

As time went by, our personal stuff was mending, but I found myself with a new(ish) dilemma. You can read about it here.

Today I'm very happy to say... I am ready.

Shortly after my last post and taking time to really sort through my thoughts, I received news from IARC. The news was regarding the IPs I would have potentially been matched with late last year. They were unmatched! I'm a person who believes in signs and "everything happens for a reason". For me to be ready and for them to be in need screamed positive vibes.

On a Monday, I spoke to IARC about Dror and Guy's visit to Minnesota, had a phone conversation with them the following day and the day after that Jeremy and I had dinner with them. On top of that, we had Elliott's 3rd birthday and we closed on our new house. It was a whirlwind of an awesome week.


I am bubbling with excitement! Being with them was completely comfortable. We spent 2 1/2 hours together and the time went by much too fast. They are going to make great dads and I can not wait to help make that happen for them.

Jeremy, Me, Guy & Dror

How thoughtful... Dror and Guy brought along a birthday gift for Elliott :)

Please stick around. I feel another great journey is about to be had!

Friday the 13th... 6 months ago

In the wee hours of a snowy morning on January 13, two bundles of incredible joy were placed into the arms of their daddies. Read about their arrival here.

I can't express to you how wonderful, how blessed it feels to have helped create this family. In life, we have dreams of doing big things, life changing things...  this was mine and it feels great!

You know that overwhelming feeling of love your heart feels when you see someone you love and adore? I get that when I see these babies! In just a few months, I will be lucky enough to kiss and snuggle these two. They'll be just about 10 months old... hmmm... they may be too busy and "on the go" to have time for snuggles. Snuggles or not it will be great to see them (and Roy and Avner) again.

HAPPY 6 MONTHS ELLA AND ELY!!

YOU BOTH ARE SO LOVED!!

 

Goodness! Those faces are precious!

Gay penguin update

I recently wrote a post regarding a book titled And Tango makes three and it got me thinking about other children books that gently explain or support same sex relationships/parenting and some that confront stereotypes. I put on my bikini and dove into the cyberworld pool to see what else I could find.

Here is what I found:

"The Princess Boy": A four-year-old boy loves dressing up in princess clothing. "A nonfiction picture book about acceptance ... to give children and adults a tool to talk about unconditional friendship"
My review: I really wanted to read this book and tell you how cute it is. But I can't. It actually made me sad. It starts out by telling the reader all about a boy that enjoys playing dress up and wearing pretty dresses and jewelry and how his family and friends are accepting of this. Of course, that acceptance is wonderful but the sad factor for me is that this acceptance is not reality. As the book goes on the princess boy has encounters with people that are not accepting. This book hits close to home for me. When my oldest son was 3 and 4 years old he loved (I stress the word love) wearing a recycled nightgown from his sister's closet. The nightgown was purple, very satin-y and had four different Disney princesses on it. He absolutely adored wearing this nightgown. I let that boy shine in his newly obtained gown. I think he probably wore it more times than my daughter did. He brought it to sleepovers at his g-ma's house. I know there were snickers (not the candy bar kind) and comments behind his back. But no one teased him directly. Eventually he moved on from the gown. When he wore it in front of other people besides my husband and I, I often worried what kind of reaction he would receive. I was always on guard and ready to give disappointed looks and a little speech. Is it good to let our young children experience cruel comments and judgmental looks because they choose to sway for the norm of society? I don't know the answer. As parents we want to protect our children but we also want them to be themselves. Sometimes it doesn't seem possible to do both.
My daughter's review: I thought the princess boy was a very good book on stereotypes, but it was also very sad. In the book people are judging him and saying he shouldn't dress up. Because that's for girls, but i think if you like something you shouldn't let someones judgement get in the way especially when it's just about how you dress. I thought it was a sad story though because people teased him and laughed and even made mean faces. If he was my brother or a friend of mine who liked to dress up i would feel just horrible. A lot of times people have this certain way or look on life that others don't, because they were wired to look at life that way. The Princess Boy was a very touching story I will probably never forget.

"Mommy, Mama and Me": A baby enjoys a number of fun activities with her two mothers.
My review: This is a board book. I really enjoyed it.

"Daddy, Papa and Me": The story of a toddler's daily activities with two loving fathers.
My review: Same as the above. It's a board book. A fun, cute read.

"The Family Book": Represents a variety of families, some big and some small, some with only one parent and some with two moms or dads, some quiet and some noisy, but all alike in some ways and special no matter what.
My review: It's a good book. The pages have fun, colorful pictures. The words on each page are kept short, sweet and get right to the point. It shows how each family, as different as it may be, is special in it's own way.

"It's okay to be different": Illustrations and brief text describe all kinds of differences that are "okay," such as "It's Okay to be a different color," "It's Okay to need some help," "It's Okay to be adopted," and "It's Okay to have a Different nose."
My review: Another fun, colorful book. It covers many differences we face in each other today but it isn't clear (in my opinion) if they reference having two moms or two dads. The page I am talking about says "It's okay to have different moms. It's okay to have different dads." It's kind of vague so it can be taken however the reader chooses. My kids really enjoyed the book, especially the macaroni & cheese in the bathtub part.



"William's Doll": William's father gives him a basketball and a train but these do not make him want a doll less.
My review: This book was first published in 1972. It depicts a sweet, gentle boy. While he enjoys his father's gifts of a basketball hoop, ball and a train, his greatest desire to love and care for a baby doll. He is teased by his brother and a friend but it does not sway him. This book confronts the stereotype that boys should play with "boy" toys.
My daughter's review: This book takes a look at different toys for both genders. Trains, sports balls. Dollhouses and barbies. But the point of being a kid is to have fun not have people tease you by the different things you play with. Also everybody needs someone that will help them reach their dreams and goals. For William that someone was his grandma.



And last but not least....

"And Tango makes three": At New York City's Central Park Zoo, two male penguins fall in love and start a family by taking turns sitting on an abandoned egg until it hatches.
My review: This book is incredibly sweet and heartwarming. My kids listened intently as I read it (if you know how boys operate... you'll know this is a big deal). The book talks about the penguins being in love and becoming dads. I was sure I would enjoy this book and was not left disappointed. This book will be a great addition to our bookshelf.
My daughter's review: I heard about this book in school. This woman was trying to ban it from her daughter's school because she didn't like the concept of it. Two dads, one baby. That's not the typical family. But I don't see what the problem is. Two male penguins in love, raising a baby. I thought it was really sweet how they were always together. I also liked how the parents (Roy and Silo) helped Tango grow up. I thought this was a good book about different lifestyles and families.

My daughter had a very emotional reaction to The Princess Boy. The poor girl was in tears after she read it and while writing her review. When I posted Bullying. Who wins?, I mentioned that she thought the weekly assembly aimed at bullying/self-confidence was lame. I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression of her. So I want to tell you she is a wonderful, caring person. Her heart is huge. She'll go the distance for anyone. I don't understand why she finds this school program to be boring and inconvenient. My guess is because she's a teenager and can't really appreciate these words of advice yet.

I checked each and every one of these books out at our local library. I am happy to see these books are available to anyone.

It is our duty to raise our children with an open mind and to be accepting and respectful of everyone.


Melissa