September 17, 2011


The most common questions I am asked are: 

"How can you carry a baby for 9 months and just hand it over? I could never do that."

I have skimmed on this question before. When I was first hearing this question, my first reaction was to say my own eggs were not used. I found that answer to be a very logical reason as to why it would be easy to hand these babies over. The eggs aren't mine, so in no way are these babies mine... plain and simple. The usual response was "yeah, but still...". My thoughts are this, I am done having babies but I am still quite capable of having them. I was blessed with the ability to have children so why not help those that can't. It's very simple in my mind.

There are two different kinds of surrogates, gestational and traditional. I am a Gestational Surrogate (GS), which means I did not supply the eggs. A Traditional Surrogate (TS) uses her own eggs. I couldn't be a TS.  Knowing the baby was biologically mine would make things very complicated.

When I see and hold these babies, I know there will be some feelings involved. But I am fairly positive I will leave the hospital and sleep very well at night... both figuratively and literally.

"Will you do this again?"

If you would have asked me this question during the first trimester, my answer would have been probably not. The injections and nausea were just a little over the top for me. My thoughts are little different now. I was so ready to be done with injections but I had no idea when it would end. Now I have a good expectation of what is in store for me. If I decide to, I will probably only do this one more time.

I am matched with a perfect couple for me. Could I get this fortunate a second time? There is no doubt more amazing and worthy people but it's important for me to feel comfortable with them. I was lucky enough to have only one interview before being matched with this couple. Interviews are a lot of pressure and very nerve-wracking. I do lean toward doing this again for another same sex couple. I wouldn't rule out a heterosexual couple, though. After being matched, I started wondering how it would be to be matched with a heterosexual couple. One pressing thought was how would the woman be throughout the pregnancy. I imagine the couple didn't decide on surrogacy as their first option for bringing their baby into this world. I'm guessing there was much heartbreak that led them to surrogacy. Would there eventually be hard feelings because I was able to carry her baby? That's a big deal to me. People can pretend that all will be wonderful in a 2 hour phone interview and they may truly believe it will be a smooth process. Once a pregnancy is confirmed and my belly starts growing, I just wonder if jealousy would prevail. It's hard to say and I wouldn't want to assume this would happen. I feel I am a pretty good judge of character but one can always be misled. I am kind of rumbling on with my thoughts. We'll leave it here and I will worry about it if and when the time comes.

Will the daddies-to-be be in the delivery room with you?

Time willing, definitely! I wouldn't want it any other way. In fact, I worry they won't be here in time to witness the births. The focus will be on the babies... not me (if you know what I mean). The problem we run into is that I labor and deliver fairly fast. With my last baby, I started contractions around 9:00pm. We arrived at the hospital around 11:00pm and Elliott was born at 12:56AM. If I go into labor on my own, there is no way the guys could be here in time for delivery. For now, the plan is to keep the babies cooking until 38 weeks and then it's game on!

That's all for now. I will be sure to post another FAQ if more questions start rolling in.

Thanks for checking in and take care!


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