February 14, 2012

The not-so-fun part of the process

I feel fortunate that I was able to spend time with the guys and babies for the last month. This is by default due to paperwork but whatever, I'll take it. I know, by reading other blogs, that this isn't always the case. I recently read a blog that brought tears to my eyes because her IPs (intended parents) have not been communicating with her. I don't know if it was part of their agreement or if something else happened but either way, how sad. I remember discussing communication and contact with the guys during our phone interview a little over one year ago. They asked if it was important to me. Being naive about that part, I assumed that most IPs weren't interested in growing a relationship with their surrogate. Foolish, right? So my reply was something like "In my perfect world, I would love to stay in contact after the birth but it wouldn't be expected". I remember thinking how easy it is to lose contact with friends that live in the same state as me, how realistic is it to keep in contact with someone on the other side of the world. The answer to that is: where there's a will there's a way. I hope there is always a will.

When I learned the date the guys would be leaving, I broke down. I was having an emotional week anyway so the tears didn't surprise me. Of course, I knew this was coming eventually. I teased that in my imaginary world they weren't leaving, ever. In my very real world, I knew they were going home. Also, in my very real world, goodbyes just suck!

Jeremy and I went to dinner with the new family Friday evening before they left. I knew when the visit was over we would say our goodbyes. Secretly, I think they wanted our last visit to be in public so I didn't chain myself to their luggage (I totally would have!). The dinner was great and it was wonderful spending this time with them. We said our final goodbyes and went our separate ways. I stayed busy the entire weekend but they were pretty much on my mind nonstop. It was sad to see them go but I am doing fine. Honestly, I am.

It's sweet that I have such great people in my life. I have a soft heart - if you haven't realized that by now- and there was concern from some family and friends. Thank you to those who checked on me through phones calls, texts, emails and Facebook.

It's a bizarre thing. I entered into this surrogacy adventure in the hopes of helping someone and changing their lives for the better. I did what I intended to do. The only thing I didn't realize was how much impact this would have on my life. There is a very slim chance I would have met Roy and Avner if it wasn't for the surrogacy and what a pity that would have been. I'll steal a line from the song "Glad you came" by The Wanted: "my universe will never be the same. I am glad you came" into my life (disclaimer: I am just stealing that line, the actual song is irrelevant).

And lastly, since it's Valentine's Day:


  1. Great post. I felt all of those same things. :-)

  2. Thanks you these are very good websites. Good information, very generous of you.