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| This is totally me... everyday |
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Happy Friday!     |
May 11, 2012
TGIFunnies
I just like to see you smile...
May 09, 2012
Another child lost
Monday morning, the school district sent out emails and phone calls to families of high school and middle school kids informing us of a student's death. While I listened to the automated phone call, my thoughts were that this child had taken his own life. That's probably because our community went through a suicide just a week prior. The call stated that the child had died earlier that morning in the hospital. No details as to how or why. My thoughts were clouded with this child most of the day. I hoped that he had not chosen death for himself, I hoped something else had chosen his fate.
The phone call said he had two sisters in middle school. Since middle school only has 3 grades (6th-8th) it was a fair assumption that one of the sisters is in Kaelyn's (my daughter) grade. When Kaelyn came home from school later that day, I asked her about it but she hadn't heard anything. A few minutes after talking with her, she got a text from a friend telling her about the boy. The message said he committed suicide because he was bullied for being gay. It's just heartbreaking.
Normally I don't want to know the "how'd they do it" details. Not because I think it will be gruesome or because I don't care. I just think it's disrespectful to be so nosy about the subject. On the other hand, I also think it's human nature to be curious. The details of this incident really disturb me though. The story published in our local paper goes like this: near one of our local high schools (the high school he attended) is an enclosed pedestrian bridge. The street below is busy. Around midnight, he climbed to the top of the pedestrian bridge and jumped. He later died at the hospital.
I don't share this information with you just to share it. I am sharing it because I want you all to know the pain this boy must have been struggling with. Any form of suicide is unthinkable to most of us. To me, public suicides scream a statement. Think about the time it took to climb that bridge, the emotions screeching through him, to feel so empty and worthless then to end it all with a jump. I wonder... did he hope someone would stop him and a happy ending would be had? Did he lose his footing and fall? Or did he have every intention of going out like that?
Please spread the awareness!
May 08, 2012
Gay penguin update
I recently wrote a post regarding a book titled And Tango makes three and it got me thinking about other children books that gently explain or support same sex relationships/parenting and some that confront stereotypes. I put on my bikini and dove into the cyberworld pool to see what else I could find.
Here is what I found:
"The Princess Boy": A four-year-old boy loves dressing up in princess clothing. "A nonfiction picture book about acceptance ... to give children and adults a tool to talk about unconditional friendship"
My review: I really wanted to read this book and tell you how cute it is. But I can't. It actually made me sad. It starts out by telling the reader all about a boy that enjoys playing dress up and wearing pretty dresses and jewelry and how his family and friends are accepting of this. Of course, that acceptance is wonderful but the sad factor for me is that this acceptance is not reality. As the book goes on the princess boy has encounters with people that are not accepting. This book hits close to home for me. When my oldest son was 3 and 4 years old he loved (I stress the word love) wearing a recycled nightgown from his sister's closet. The nightgown was purple, very satin-y and had four different Disney princesses on it. He absolutely adored wearing this nightgown. I let that boy shine in his newly obtained gown. I think he probably wore it more times than my daughter did. He brought it to sleepovers at his g-ma's house. I know there were snickers (not the candy bar kind) and comments behind his back. But no one teased him directly. Eventually he moved on from the gown. When he wore it in front of other people besides my husband and I, I often worried what kind of reaction he would receive. I was always on guard and ready to give disappointed looks and a little speech. Is it good to let our young children experience cruel comments and judgmental looks because they choose to sway for the norm of society? I don't know the answer. As parents we want to protect our children but we also want them to be themselves. Sometimes it doesn't seem possible to do both.
My daughter's review: I thought the princess boy was a very good book on stereotypes, but it was also very sad. In the book people are judging him and saying he shouldn't dress up. Because that's for girls, but i think if you like something you shouldn't let someones judgement get in the way especially when it's just about how you dress. I thought it was a sad story though because people teased him and laughed and even made mean faces. If he was my brother or a friend of mine who liked to dress up i would feel just horrible. A lot of times people have this certain way or look on life that others don't, because they were wired to look at life that way. The Princess Boy was a very touching story I will probably never forget.
"Mommy, Mama and Me": A baby enjoys a number of fun activities with her two mothers.
My review: This is a board book. I really enjoyed it.
"Daddy, Papa and Me": The story of a toddler's daily activities with two loving fathers.
My review: Same as the above. It's a board book. A fun, cute read.
"The Family Book": Represents a variety of families, some big and some small, some with only one parent and some with two moms or dads, some quiet and some noisy, but all alike in some ways and special no matter what.
My review: It's a good book. The pages have fun, colorful pictures. The words on each page are kept short, sweet and get right to the point. It shows how each family, as different as it may be, is special in it's own way.
"It's okay to be different": Illustrations and brief text describe all kinds of differences that are "okay," such as "It's Okay to be a different color," "It's Okay to need some help," "It's Okay to be adopted," and "It's Okay to have a Different nose."
My review: Another fun, colorful book. It covers many differences we face in each other today but it isn't clear (in my opinion) if they reference having two moms or two dads. The page I am talking about says "It's okay to have different moms. It's okay to have different dads." It's kind of vague so it can be taken however the reader chooses. My kids really enjoyed the book, especially the macaroni & cheese in the bathtub part.
"William's Doll": William's father gives him a basketball and a train but these do not make him want a doll less.
My review: This book was first published in 1972. It depicts a sweet, gentle boy. While he enjoys his father's gifts of a basketball hoop, ball and a train, his greatest desire to love and care for a baby doll. He is teased by his brother and a friend but it does not sway him. This book confronts the stereotype that boys should play with "boy" toys.
My daughter's review: This book takes a look at different toys for both genders. Trains, sports balls. Dollhouses and barbies. But the point of being a kid is to have fun not have people tease you by the different things you play with. Also everybody needs someone that will help them reach their dreams and goals. For William that someone was his grandma.
And last but not least....
"And Tango makes three": At New York City's Central Park Zoo, two male penguins fall in love and start a family by taking turns sitting on an abandoned egg until it hatches.
My review: This book is incredibly sweet and heartwarming. My kids listened intently as I read it (if you know how boys operate... you'll know this is a big deal). The book talks about the penguins being in love and becoming dads. I was sure I would enjoy this book and was not left disappointed. This book will be a great addition to our bookshelf.
My daughter's review: I heard about this book in school. This woman was trying to ban it from her daughter's school because she didn't like the concept of it. Two dads, one baby. That's not the typical family. But I don't see what the problem is. Two male penguins in love, raising a baby. I thought it was really sweet how they were always together. I also liked how the parents (Roy and Silo) helped Tango grow up. I thought this was a good book about different lifestyles and families.
My daughter had a very emotional reaction to The Princess Boy. The poor girl was in tears after she read it and while writing her review. When I posted Bullying. Who wins?, I mentioned that she thought the weekly assembly aimed at bullying/self-confidence was lame. I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression of her. So I want to tell you she is a wonderful, caring person. Her heart is huge. She'll go the distance for anyone. I don't understand why she finds this school program to be boring and inconvenient. My guess is because she's a teenager and can't really appreciate these words of advice yet.
I checked each and every one of these books out at our local library. I am happy to see these books are available to anyone.
It is our duty to raise our children with an open mind and to be accepting and respectful of everyone.
Melissa
Here is what I found:
My review: I really wanted to read this book and tell you how cute it is. But I can't. It actually made me sad. It starts out by telling the reader all about a boy that enjoys playing dress up and wearing pretty dresses and jewelry and how his family and friends are accepting of this. Of course, that acceptance is wonderful but the sad factor for me is that this acceptance is not reality. As the book goes on the princess boy has encounters with people that are not accepting. This book hits close to home for me. When my oldest son was 3 and 4 years old he loved (I stress the word love) wearing a recycled nightgown from his sister's closet. The nightgown was purple, very satin-y and had four different Disney princesses on it. He absolutely adored wearing this nightgown. I let that boy shine in his newly obtained gown. I think he probably wore it more times than my daughter did. He brought it to sleepovers at his g-ma's house. I know there were snickers (not the candy bar kind) and comments behind his back. But no one teased him directly. Eventually he moved on from the gown. When he wore it in front of other people besides my husband and I, I often worried what kind of reaction he would receive. I was always on guard and ready to give disappointed looks and a little speech. Is it good to let our young children experience cruel comments and judgmental looks because they choose to sway for the norm of society? I don't know the answer. As parents we want to protect our children but we also want them to be themselves. Sometimes it doesn't seem possible to do both.
My daughter's review: I thought the princess boy was a very good book on stereotypes, but it was also very sad. In the book people are judging him and saying he shouldn't dress up. Because that's for girls, but i think if you like something you shouldn't let someones judgement get in the way especially when it's just about how you dress. I thought it was a sad story though because people teased him and laughed and even made mean faces. If he was my brother or a friend of mine who liked to dress up i would feel just horrible. A lot of times people have this certain way or look on life that others don't, because they were wired to look at life that way. The Princess Boy was a very touching story I will probably never forget.
My review: This is a board book. I really enjoyed it.
My review: Same as the above. It's a board book. A fun, cute read.
My review: It's a good book. The pages have fun, colorful pictures. The words on each page are kept short, sweet and get right to the point. It shows how each family, as different as it may be, is special in it's own way.
My review: Another fun, colorful book. It covers many differences we face in each other today but it isn't clear (in my opinion) if they reference having two moms or two dads. The page I am talking about says "It's okay to have different moms. It's okay to have different dads." It's kind of vague so it can be taken however the reader chooses. My kids really enjoyed the book, especially the macaroni & cheese in the bathtub part.
"William's Doll": William's father gives him a basketball and a train but these do not make him want a doll less.
My review: This book was first published in 1972. It depicts a sweet, gentle boy. While he enjoys his father's gifts of a basketball hoop, ball and a train, his greatest desire to love and care for a baby doll. He is teased by his brother and a friend but it does not sway him. This book confronts the stereotype that boys should play with "boy" toys.
My daughter's review: This book takes a look at different toys for both genders. Trains, sports balls. Dollhouses and barbies. But the point of being a kid is to have fun not have people tease you by the different things you play with. Also everybody needs someone that will help them reach their dreams and goals. For William that someone was his grandma.
And last but not least....
My review: This book is incredibly sweet and heartwarming. My kids listened intently as I read it (if you know how boys operate... you'll know this is a big deal). The book talks about the penguins being in love and becoming dads. I was sure I would enjoy this book and was not left disappointed. This book will be a great addition to our bookshelf.
My daughter's review: I heard about this book in school. This woman was trying to ban it from her daughter's school because she didn't like the concept of it. Two dads, one baby. That's not the typical family. But I don't see what the problem is. Two male penguins in love, raising a baby. I thought it was really sweet how they were always together. I also liked how the parents (Roy and Silo) helped Tango grow up. I thought this was a good book about different lifestyles and families.
My daughter had a very emotional reaction to The Princess Boy. The poor girl was in tears after she read it and while writing her review. When I posted Bullying. Who wins?, I mentioned that she thought the weekly assembly aimed at bullying/self-confidence was lame. I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression of her. So I want to tell you she is a wonderful, caring person. Her heart is huge. She'll go the distance for anyone. I don't understand why she finds this school program to be boring and inconvenient. My guess is because she's a teenager and can't really appreciate these words of advice yet.
I checked each and every one of these books out at our local library. I am happy to see these books are available to anyone.
It is our duty to raise our children with an open mind and to be accepting and respectful of everyone.
Melissa
May 02, 2012
Bullying. Who wins?
News that an area girl had taken her own life flooded my Facebook page last Monday. The 13 year old had taken her own life because of bullying. The pain this family must be feeling is unfathomable.
When I read stories like this I can not imagine the pain suffered in order to take these extreme measures. This girl is a year younger than my own daughter. I know kids are mean and these days they have more outlets for their bullying.
When we lived in a smaller town (just 5 minutes from the small town this girl lived in) my daughter experienced bullying from some "cool" kids. While she had plenty of good friends, she did encounter some hassling. Now that we are in a larger city, the bullying is rare. For her anyway.
In the past few years, suicide due to bullying is being talked about more and more. My daughter's school has weekly anti-bullying/self-confidence assemblies. Her and I talk about it from time to time. I was sad to learn that a lot of the students couldn't care less about the weekly discussions and find it to be a waste of time. She told me they often joke about it. Even my daughter feels this way. It makes me wonder where I may have went wrong with her. Is it the immaturity that makes them feel this subject is a waste of time? Or is it because they are not personally feeling the effects of bullying?
When I put myself in the shoes of the bullied kids, I think of them sitting at the anti-bullying/self-confidence assemblies praying that today is the day their bully will "get it" and realize how much it hurts to be bullied.
Unfortunately, it's sad events like this that remind us to discuss bullying with our kids. Just like any other issue, if you're not faced with it on a daily basis, you probably don't think about it often enough.
The family of this girl is strong. It has only been 4 days since her death and already they are standing up and speaking against bullying. They are asking that negatives actions and words not be used against the people bullying their daughter/sister. I don't know that I could be that strong.
On one hand, I want these bullies to pay for their consequences but on another, we need to remember they are young kids, full of hormones and immaturity. I feel a small amount of compassion for the bullies because I imagine they never thought what they were doing would lead to a suicide.
It's important to communicate with kids. There could be kids in our lives that are facing these issues without our knowledge. They may know how to bottle these feelings and may be able to hide the pain. It's our job to protect these kids and guide them. Pay attention to their Facebook and email accounts. Look at their text messages. Ask them blunt questions, pay close attention to their reactions. We do not need an excuse to spy on our kids. Our kids probably will not like it but the bottom line is... their business is our business.
I don't believe bullying will ever stop. All we can do is keep talking about it and make others aware that words can hurt, even kill. We need to listen to our kids, watch for changes in their behavior (both positive and negative).
If you think your child is being bullied or if your child is a bully, take action now. Don't wait until it's too late.
Melissa
When I read stories like this I can not imagine the pain suffered in order to take these extreme measures. This girl is a year younger than my own daughter. I know kids are mean and these days they have more outlets for their bullying.
When we lived in a smaller town (just 5 minutes from the small town this girl lived in) my daughter experienced bullying from some "cool" kids. While she had plenty of good friends, she did encounter some hassling. Now that we are in a larger city, the bullying is rare. For her anyway.
In the past few years, suicide due to bullying is being talked about more and more. My daughter's school has weekly anti-bullying/self-confidence assemblies. Her and I talk about it from time to time. I was sad to learn that a lot of the students couldn't care less about the weekly discussions and find it to be a waste of time. She told me they often joke about it. Even my daughter feels this way. It makes me wonder where I may have went wrong with her. Is it the immaturity that makes them feel this subject is a waste of time? Or is it because they are not personally feeling the effects of bullying?
When I put myself in the shoes of the bullied kids, I think of them sitting at the anti-bullying/self-confidence assemblies praying that today is the day their bully will "get it" and realize how much it hurts to be bullied.
Unfortunately, it's sad events like this that remind us to discuss bullying with our kids. Just like any other issue, if you're not faced with it on a daily basis, you probably don't think about it often enough.
The family of this girl is strong. It has only been 4 days since her death and already they are standing up and speaking against bullying. They are asking that negatives actions and words not be used against the people bullying their daughter/sister. I don't know that I could be that strong.
On one hand, I want these bullies to pay for their consequences but on another, we need to remember they are young kids, full of hormones and immaturity. I feel a small amount of compassion for the bullies because I imagine they never thought what they were doing would lead to a suicide.
I don't believe bullying will ever stop. All we can do is keep talking about it and make others aware that words can hurt, even kill. We need to listen to our kids, watch for changes in their behavior (both positive and negative).
If you think your child is being bullied or if your child is a bully, take action now. Don't wait until it's too late.
Melissa
May 01, 2012
The daddies
I talked to the daddies today. I talk to them often through text messages but we don't talk enough via the phone. There is an 8 hour difference and uh, they have twins. I heard twins are a bit time consuming. Anyway, I talked them today. Really about nothing major, just about life. We talked about Ella and Ely and how absolutely wonderful they are. I suppose they do have grumpy moments but don't we all? We talked about Roy's birthday gift to Avner (Avner's bday was last Saturday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY (again) old man). We talked about my girls only weekend with my bff. We talked about when I would visit them. Just normal everyday stuff.
I always hang up the phone with a smile on my face. I just love them......
I always hang up the phone with a smile on my face. I just love them......
April 27, 2012
Step into my blog for "Funny Fridays"
As I was belly laughing my way through some Pinterest finds, the idea of "Funny Fridays" popped into my brain. I am certain I am the first person to think of this (for those new to my blog, think sarcasm).
I get that this isn't "surrogate" based stuff. Baby business can be pretty deep and emotional. Who couldn't use a laugh here and there?
I get that this isn't "surrogate" based stuff. Baby business can be pretty deep and emotional. Who couldn't use a laugh here and there?
*Disclaimer: all found on Pinterest
Have a great weekend!
Melissa
April 26, 2012
"Poem In My Pocket" Day
My friend Kristal shared with me that today is Poem In My Pocket Day. It's pretty self-explanatory... find a poem and wear it in your pocket. Share it if you so desire.
If I worked in an office setting, at the strike of noon, I would stand on my desk in a perfectly messy and cluttered cubical and read a poem about jammed copiers and unfiled paperwork aloud for all of my co-workers to enjoy. The good news... I no longer work in an office setting.
Instead of an office poem, my daycare kids and I will share fun poems during circle time this afternoon. Kids have very clever minds. It's fun to hear how their minds think, best part of my job!
I searched the web high and low for a perfect poem to share here. Go figure I could not find one that included two gay men, twins and a surrogate. But this one is sweet:
Share a poem today!
If I worked in an office setting, at the strike of noon, I would stand on my desk in a perfectly messy and cluttered cubical and read a poem about jammed copiers and unfiled paperwork aloud for all of my co-workers to enjoy. The good news... I no longer work in an office setting.
Instead of an office poem, my daycare kids and I will share fun poems during circle time this afternoon. Kids have very clever minds. It's fun to hear how their minds think, best part of my job!
I searched the web high and low for a perfect poem to share here. Go figure I could not find one that included two gay men, twins and a surrogate. But this one is sweet:
A Dream,
by Lain L.
Our friendship started differently
than most friendships I've had.
We had to search each other out
because of something sad.
than most friendships I've had.
We had to search each other out
because of something sad.
A precious child to fill your hearts
is what you're longing for.
Infertility has made it hard
to open up that door.
is what you're longing for.
Infertility has made it hard
to open up that door.
And so a search began for you
to find a helping heart.
So similar to my own search
not knowing where to start.
to find a helping heart.
So similar to my own search
not knowing where to start.
For me the search is special
it requires such great care.
A couple to help have a child...
the fruit my search must bare.
it requires such great care.
A couple to help have a child...
the fruit my search must bare.
Now we've found each other
so much more real it seems.
Through faith and hope and honesty
we're moving toward your dream.
so much more real it seems.
Through faith and hope and honesty
we're moving toward your dream.
But the dream we have,
it is the same,
a dream that's filled with firsts.
First smiles, first laughs, first steps, first words....
all starting with a birth.
it is the same,
a dream that's filled with firsts.
First smiles, first laughs, first steps, first words....
all starting with a birth.
Often times I find myself
wondering what it's like
to have to trust a stranger
with such a precious life.
wondering what it's like
to have to trust a stranger
with such a precious life.
And though I can't imagine
all that you've been through,
I've been so blessed in my life
I'm drawn to helping you.
And I hope you know I'll do my best
to bring a child to you.
all that you've been through,
I've been so blessed in my life
I'm drawn to helping you.
And I hope you know I'll do my best
to bring a child to you.
Some people call us Angels
us surro-moms to be.
But I don't feel Angelic,
I just feel like me.
us surro-moms to be.
But I don't feel Angelic,
I just feel like me.
Our journey is just starting,
and no one knows the end.
I pray it brings to you a child
and brings to me a friend.
and no one knows the end.
I pray it brings to you a child
and brings to me a friend.
Share a poem today!
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