November 30, 2011

31 weeks

Here we are at 31 weeks. In 7 weeks or less the babies will be born. Some days this journey seems very unreal. Most days it seems that we just started this journey. I barely remember the beginning... you know, the shots and the unfortunate morning sickness. It's funny how we can forget how we really felt at moments like that. It's like labor and delivery... most women will tell you that labor wasn't all that bad but really we know it was fairly painful and full of extreme emotions. I think it's mostly because once the baby is born the pain from contractions, pressure and anything else is over pretty much immediately. Oh and that precious bundle of joy will usually wipe the painful memories away.  Now, I know this isn't true for everyone so no hate mail, okay ladies?

I am very happy to say that all four of my past pregnancies have been uneventful and very text book. This pregnancy has been the same. Although, I have had a few bumps that I didn't experience in the past, nothing serious just some different symptoms. My deliveries have been nothing but uncomplicated and my recovery the same. I'll be honest, though. I am a little concerned about labor and delivery of twins. I am thinking positive thoughts that baby boy will flip and become head down before delivery.

Here is the scenario if I was to go into labor today: baby girl will be born first as she is closest to my cervix (actually, hanging out directly on top of my cervix), there would likely be no complications with her birth. Baby boy is a different story. He is breech and would likely have to be born feet first. There is a chance he would flip head down after baby girl is born but there is no way to determine that and quite honestly, I didn't get a good feeling from my OB that he would flip. It would be highly suggested that I get an epidural for this scenario. I have never had an epidural so that unknown makes me nervous. The unknown of delivering a baby feet first makes me nervous. The unknown of a c-section makes me nervous. Like I said, I am thinking positive thoughts that Mr. Baby Boy decides to head south soon. If you have any spare positive thoughts, please send them my way.

My 31 week appointment went well. The ultrasound proved the babies are still growing and growing. Baby girl weighs around 4.1 lbs and baby boy weighs around 3.12 lbs. That is almost 1 lbs gained for each baby in 3 weeks. Baby girl is measuring 1 week early and baby boy is measuring 3 days early. I did get a picture of each baby but it is very hard to make anything out. I asked my OB if we are on track to having two full-term babies and she said most definitely, all signs point to yes. Other than talking about how good everything is going we discussed the scenario above. I am quite proud that my track record does not include an epidural. I think for the safety of the babies and myself, I am leaning toward getting one this time. This way I am all set in the event an emergency c-section is necessary. I would much prefer to have a shot than to be put under.

I get a lot of looks when I, without my husband, go places with all 3 of my boys these days. The other day I dropped my daughter off at the orthodontist and took my boys to McDonald's for lunch. For the most part, my boys behave but my middle boy is my challenge. He did really well until the end of the meal. I was gathering the boys, trying to clean up, put coats on, etc. As I was finishing, I could tell this lady was going to come over and start a conversation. She was a very sweet older lady. She asked about the pregnancy. I debated telling her I was a surrogate because of her age but mostly because I was really anxious to leave. I don't mean to offend anyone by saying "because of her age". I think we all know a lot of older people are set in their opinions and I wasn't ready to enter into that topic with her not knowing how she would respond. I decided to keep quiet about being a surrogate. She asked when I was due and if we knew the gender. (Side note: which by the way, (when my daughter isn't with us) I can not believe I haven't heard the comment "So you gonna try until you have a girl" by a stranger). Anywho, I told the lady at McDonald's that it was actually twins and there is one of each. She was thrilled and went on and on about it, as my 3 y/o is running here and there. She gave me information about a local grocery store that could deliver my groceries to me and told me that I must stop in (she works at McDonald's) after the twins are born so she could see them. She really was a sweetheart but couldn't she see that my 3 y/o had turned into the Tasmanian Devil? As she continued on, she told me about her daughter-in-law and her multiple miscarriages, it was then that I felt terrible for thinking she wouldn't have understood my surrogacy decision. In the end, I wish I would have told her I was a surrogate. By the time the conversation had turned to her daughter-in-law I felt like I had really mislead her. I wanted to say "well, really I am a surrogate" but because my son was ready to bolt out the door I knew I couldn't start that conversation.

I am not shy about telling people that I am surrogate. With the circumstances above, I was basically just trying to end the conversation quickly. That same day I took my little Tasmanian Devil to get a haircut. Again, I was asked about the pregnancy. I was upfront that I am a surrogate and we talked pretty much the entire time about it. There were 3 stylists and 2 clients in the small area. One of the stylist was behind us and didn't seem to be paying attention to our conversation. A while later she came over and said "I just don't know how you can do that". Well well well, welcome to our conversation, please tell me what your think! Her tone was that of a prude and I could feel myself getting very defensive if she continued with this tone. I had already discussed with the others that an egg donor had been used therefore making them not biologically mine. One of the stylist said right away "but the babies are not hers in any way". The prude replied "yeah but you still get that connection" as she waved her hands over her belly. I told her it's a completely different mentality to carry a child/children for someone else. She proceeded to tell us of her friend that donated eggs and how beautiful the children were. Not sure what the attitude in the beginning was about but she was fine in the end.

Whew... long winded today. Hope you made it to the end.

Thanks for checking in!

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